Pacing back and forth, pulling at my hair, face red, tears streaming, my mouth wide open. Nothing but silence is heard around me. But inside my head? The screams of a thousand banshees. Rage, fire, hurt, sadness, helplessness, hopelessness…despair. It must all be kept inside. None can be let out. It’s not safe to let it out. If one single sound escapes, everything could come crashing down. I would be buried by the noise. I won’t allow myself to be buried. I must remain within the illusion of control. It’s the only control I have. When there is mastery over nothing, there must be mastery over myself. That is my…